Thoughts

My job as a teacher has become taxing, but I am no less passionate about it. There is a lot of work that I didn’t expect to be doing for my job here. We are undergoing accreditation at Doulos through ACSI and there is much to do for every teacher beyond class work. I am teaching 9-12 English, and 11th grade devotionals, meaning I plan four classes a week that are held four times per week. This I was expecting. But as part of accreditation I am also responsible for writing the curriculum for these four classes for the coming year. In total this means I will be writing two curriculums for every class I teach, one for reading and one for writing – 8 year long curriculums in total. They are all due in December.

I am smiling right now. Which means it is a good time to continue writing this post.

There are many times where I am filled with grumbling about this (normally when my life has become centered around my self), and honestly I feel that the job that has been put on my plate is too large for me. If you look back at the quote I posted a few weeks ago you may see now how it is relevant to my life. I feel that there are many times where the busy-ness of my work creates violence in my life. I feel that often times I must choose between being a good teacher, or a good curriculum writer.

Even with all of this I feel at peace right now. I have literally felt like Moses over that last week – looking toward the burning bush and asking God “Who am I.” However, unlike many times in my life where I feel the burden of this question and do not here and answer I am constantly aware of God’s response. “I am who I am."

Like Moses I thought I knew what I was called to, when in reality I did not know. I am blessed to be writing a curriculum that will be leaving my finger print (through God’s work in us), on this school for the next 25 to 50 years. Whether we leave this place in 2 or 5 years, teachers will continue to teach the curriculum I create for years to come.

In reality there is no better response to the question “Who am I” - a question that I will probably continue to ask myself in new ways throughout my life – than “I am who I am.” The answer hits me deep in my core. Though I am often not able to even establish my own identity, I am sent, I a driven to teach by the Lord who is sure in his identity. “I am who I am”

{So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt." But Moses said to God, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?" And God said, "I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain."Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?" God said to Moses, "I am who I am . This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.' "}

Exodus 3: 10-14